Embracing Life Changes + Coping With Loss [My heart after an unexpected, but much needed, blogging break]

Well, hey there!

Long time no talk. :) I didn't exactly plan on taking a blogging break. I attempted to write here more than a few times, but to be honest I just couldn't put my thoughts into words the way I was wanting them to come across.

With this unintentional turned intentional break, I have a newfound clarity that is so refreshing and little did I know, was very much needed.

So, here we are!

Something I keep learning and relearning in life is that plans never go as expected. For a devout planner like myself, this is difficult. Perhaps my fellow planners can relate? I had a very detailed "plan" or "outline" written out for months now for my personal blog that I kept pushing back further and further until now. And it makes my heart and soul so happy to be posting here again.

I wanted to share some things I have been up to these past six-ish months and what I've learned along the way.

 I moved!
I'm one of those people who thrives on change. It's not always easy, in fact, it really is never an easy thing to embrace. But I know for a fact how much it helps me grow as a person every single time. So in June, my dog Theo and I moved to a new city and it was the best decision I could have made.

I jumped into a lot of "unknowns" with this move. I have had to find various ways of settling into new jobs, routines and a new community. While there have been tough moments in the unknown, I can feel how God has intricately been a part of every step of this process.

I turned 27!
I have always heard the saying, "the older you get the faster time goes." And I can 100% vouch for that. However, people look at me and think I'm still in my early 20's and I have to say, I'm not mad about that.

My faith struggled, big time.
I don't want to downplay the impact this had. But I can guarantee I'm not alone in this. And I think it's important to be real about it, instead of putting up a facade.

It was a hard-to-understand mix of pure joy having just moved to a new area and being completely content in that decision but also struggling with my faith and the loss of my dad. To have both ends of the emotional spectrum meet has a way of throwing you for a loop.

I was missing my dad beyond what any words can express. And I felt alone because of it. I have been blessed with very supportive people in my life and I knew that they were only a phone call away but I just couldn't bring myself to a point of reaching out until I found myself at a very low point. All I wanted was my dad, honestly.

Not a day goes by that I do not think of him. But perhaps it was a combination of the move, throwing myself into an unknown situation and maybe even just the fact that sometimes all a girl needs is her dad to talk to, that it all just really hit hard at this point.

Maybe you too have lost a loved one, someone you didn't have enough time with. You didn't get to experience enough life with. You know when it just doesn't seem fair? It's this heartache that never really goes away, over time you just find ways to ease your heavy heart and cling to the memories.

Answered prayers.
Having gone through that very low valley and my faith being shaken, I remember praying direct, specific prayers. I prayed for things like intentional friendship, comfort in hardship, strength to embrace change and guidance in strengthening my heart in a single season.

I prayed to simply feel the presence of my dad.

God has answered my prayers in very different and unexpected ways. He works in ways I'm not sure I will ever quite understand but one thing is certain, He will always work in the way that is best. He brought me out of the valley with a newfound strength and a peace that my dad is with me every step that I take.

I feel restored, inspired + driven.

It's mind-boggling to think about how God can use your absolute lowest moments to strengthen you in ways you didn't even realize you needed.

My heart is ready to write here again. Feeling confident in this, I am encouraged that God is up to something big.

And He has something big in the works for YOU too.

Maybe you are experiencing that stuck in a rut sort of feeling.

Let me encourage you, dear friend, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You have purpose. 
Keep fighting. 
Remain rooted in what you stand for.

Thank you for sticking with me and helping me find my purpose in writing again.

Much love,
Hailey Mae

1 comment

  1. Heart touching. Thank you as I have had a couple loses.